Inspired.

Last night I was desperately searching for some pictures for Avery's school project. We just got a new computer and it's a long story...regardless, I'm left scrambling on the night before the project deadline! I couldn't find the box of misc. pictures in the garage. So, I told him he would just have to draw pictures instead. This didn't sit well with Avery; this was far too much work for him. He continued being persistent with me. "Mom can you please print me some photos? All the other kids have photos on their time lines!" At this point in the evening, I am feeling as if I am up against a wall. Thinking Repeating a thousand thoughts regarding this situation: I'm tired. This isn't my homework. Why must everything have to be like everyone else? Why do teachers make more work for parents? Am I a bad parent? I feel bad. Am I letting him down? No, this is his responsibility! Not mine. He will be better for this. Natural consequences aren't so bad? Are they? So, feeling defeated, I tucked him into bed. Project unfinished. "Tomorrow, is a new day!" As I walked up the stairs into a quiet, disaster. I surrendered. Where would I even start? I felt a peace come over me. It was quiet silent! I could think, clearly. And, just like that the light bulb went on! I had a million things I could have done at that very moment. But, in the middle of a giant mess, I grabbed his sweet little list of ideas and started printing a few photos from my blog. In my search, I took a few minuets to stroll down memory lane. FAST; time goes fast. It was such a blessed, God-given, much needed time! 

Much like, Peter when he got out of the boat and walked on the water with Jesus. The minuet he took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink. My focus had changed. It felt un-natural, but I pursued God in that moment. I fixed my eyes on Jesus, instead of the loud, overwhelming, chaotic, crazy lady, mess of a life that I sometimes most days, lead; to the true meaning of this life; my relationship with Him. He revealed to me, my purpose. It felt really good to leave the mess and fulfill my role as homework helper, but even better more than that, as Avery's mom and servant of God.
 
As I read some of my posts for the second time, years later; I thought to myself, "I wrote this?" I was truly inspired. Then, I was reminded, I didn't. HE did. God precisely uses what He knows will work to reach deep into our hearts. He has used me. I have no explanation of why. He just has. It's beautiful, what He is doing: this story that He is writing and continues to richly bless! My deepest thanks are all HIS today, for this morning, I was Avery's hero. And God is mine; I had all the photos spread out on the table and we finished it together, on time!

Today, I encourage you to fix your eyes on Jesus. He is so Good, He is Faithful, He. Is. Love.

 

"Lord if it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afriaid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

 Matthew 14:28-33

This inspired me, I hope it inspires you, again:)
Written: January 2011
Live for TODAY...Live from Him...
Recently, I have been thinking many deep thoughts; fearing lots of things out of my control, bringing me closer to God. Weighing heavy on my heart is how short our little 100 years on earth really is...trying to put into perspective how and why we are here. What is 100 years compared to eternity? Not long; a tiny piece of time. What is our purpose? Sure, the day to day activities, but bigger than that; there is more! I often think about it, over and over I hear people say as they get older how time flies; how children grow up so fast and the years go by in the blink of an eye. And, do many have anything to show for it? Anything through the eyes of our Heavenly Father? As I myself get older, I am finding this to be so true and I fear. I fear lots of things out of my control; bigger than me. As for the things I can control, I ask myself: "Did I do enough today?" "Am I living in His will?"
This is a side note, but it ties into the point.
Every night when I tuck the boys into bed...We check their hearts...this is a time when they usually open up to me and tell me some of their honest feelings and things weighing heavy on their hearts. I ask them if they are proud of the way they acted, would Jesus approve? Were you honest, did you use good listening ears and polite manners, I ask them if they smiled when they spoke, if they served with a happy heart etc. etc. All of these parental duties and all of the joy they bring to my heart. To hear the sweet little prayers to Jesus...all of the questions about life and heaven and Jesus and where He is and when will we see Him and how and why and on and on and on....
This is how God speaks to me...I had an absolute epiphany...
He is parenting me, like I am to them. I hear Him say: "I knew you before you were in your mothers womb, I know your heart. You are part of my plan! Trust me. Listen to me when I speak. Obey. I will protect you, I know what's best. You have confessions and questions, and I answer. You bring Me joy. You have struggles and fears, but it's ok. I am here. You raise your hands and I will pick you up. When I hold out Mine, jump; I will catch you. I am with you, there is nothing to fear. I Love you but, even more than that I Am Love. I know you don't understand; remember, trust Me!"

I get it, I see...and although I don't totally understand how he works sometimes...I trust. He, like a mother to her child is full of purpose! For, it is in our day to day activities that He chooses to show us things that are bigger than ourselves. He knows I am a visual learner...four little boys depend on me everyday and it's a little reminder...of why I call Him "Father". As for me and my tiny piece of time; He is the One I live from. His words are LIFE! What have I done today? Is it enough? I am certain that whatever His will, it will be done. Our time is short, though nothing to fear and, if tomorrow never comes I have truly lived for TODAY and from Him!

Now listen, who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, " If the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

James 4:13-17

 

 

 

Happy Spring. Happy Weekend!

God Bless you all.